


Lava Flow

by TyrannyRat



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Hallucinations, M/M, Pining, mostly pre-relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8562898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyrannyRat/pseuds/TyrannyRat
Summary: Troy is on his voyage, and Abed struggles to deal with the consequences.





	1. It Comes

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be a Jeff/Abed story, but I changed my mind halfway through writing it. You can still see hints of the former Jeff/Abed.

Friends don’t lie to each other. There’s one hundred twenty-one rules in Troy and Abed’s handbook on best friendship. That was the first one and the most important. It was a rule that was broken rarely, and had serious consequences when done so. In Abed’s memory, he had only broken the rule three times since it was made. “Our friendship is dead” is the first and most egregious of his lies. Abed’s stomach still twisted uncomfortably when thought about it. “F. Y. N. E.” ended up affecting mostly only Abed, but Troy still scolded him later about the lie. “I think I’m able to let Troy go now”… Abed hadn’t even known it was a lie when he had said it. The lava disappearing from the ground, as if evaporating, seemed to be a testament to the truth in his words. However, a few days after Troy’s departure, Abed found out where all that lava had gone, and he realized just how big of a lie that statement had been.

He first noticed it back at his apartment. He was folding laundry with Annie when he heard something bubbling slowly, like what you might hear coming from a stereotypical witch’s cauldron. He looked around, at first seeing nothing, before his eyes landed on the closed door to the water heater. There was a shining, orange glow issuing from the cracks between the door and its frame, and something trickling out from underneath. A rivulet of lava, burning bright. Abed had pointed it out to Annie, and she gave him the sort of look that people always gave him whenever he mentioned seeing something they couldn’t. Half sympathy, half fear. Abed brushed it off like it had been a joke. He could tell Annie didn’t really believe him, but she didn’t press him on it, for which Abed was grateful.

Now, everywhere he went, the lava was there. He could hear it in the walls, see it’s light from behind doors, sometimes oozing out of the gaps. He could even feel the heat of it, when he got close enough to where it was hidden. Every time he opened a door where the lava was lurking behind, he saw it quickly seeping into the walls, like cockroaches hiding from the light. Abed was sure it was all just barely being held back. He was sure that, after a while, it would finally burst forth and engulf him, killing him again.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew it wasn’t real. He knew real lava couldn’t be held back by plaster and wood, just like he knew you couldn’t escape lava by standing on a chair or even on an island made of chairs. But he also knew it didn’t matter it wasn’t real, because he could see it and feel it and if it got on him, he would have to pretend to be dead again, or at least pretend to be injured. That was the only way it would make sense to Abed. He knew other people wouldn’t see it that way, but Abed had never seen things in the same way as other people. Maybe if he pretend died, Britta would clone him again. A clone of a clone, though? If he kept being cloned, eventually he would cease to be Abed at all. There wouldn’t be anything left of the original.

It was a week and a half after Troy’s departure that Abed first considered giving up. It was between classes for him and he sat down in front of a janitor’s closet, leaning his back against the door. He was careful not to touch the thin string of lava flowing out, but he doesn’t bother moving away from the door, even when it starts to heat up his skin uncomfortably. He rubbed his wrist. It’s bruised and rubbed raw where he had been handcuffed. After seeing the injuries, the man who put him in the cuff, Buzz Hickey, said that he had told Abed not to struggle, and if he noticed any pain in his thumb or index finger, he should see a doctor.

Hickey doesn’t understand Abed. Doesn’t even want to understand Abed. Hickey would rather handcuff Abed to a filing cabinet and pretend he understood Abed, rather than take a moment to consider his worldview might be a little skewed. Abed doesn’t fault him for that, though. For any of it. Abed knew that he didn’t fit into a lot of people’s realities, the same way Nicolas Cage didn’t fit into Abed’s reality. Also, Hickey did tell him not to struggle and Abed did anyway, despite the fact that he had known that struggling wouldn’t do him any good. So that was on him, really. Honestly, he got what he deserved for trying to replace Troy. Troy couldn’t be replaced. He especially couldn’t be replaced by a gruff veteran who couldn’t draw cartoon ducks. Troy can draw cartoon ducks. It was just about the only thing he can draw. He used to leave post-it notes for Abed that had little cartoon ducks saying things like buy milk or I accidentally whipped Annie with the Indiana Jones whip and now we’re at the doctor’s, be home in a few hours. Abed had been a fool to think some non-duck-drawing, tough-love-without-the-love, ex-cop could replace his Troy. He had been a fool to think anyone could.

The heat of the lava coming through the door was scorching his back, but Abed still didn’t move. Not even when he heard footsteps coming down the hall and Jeff rounded the corner. Abed was glad it was Jeff and not any of the others. Jeff was the easiest person to be around since Troy had left, because he avoided uncomfortable topics, and right now, Troy was an uncomfortable topic. Hickey also didn’t talk about Troy, but, well, he wasn’t exactly easy to be around. Abed gripped his wrist. Abed knew Jeff was sad about Troy leaving, because Jeff liked Troy just as much as the others did, but Jeff didn’t try to share his feelings or make Abed share his. Abed appreciated that, because he felt as though if he tried to talk about Troy, all the lava would burst through the walls and out from behind the doors.

“Abed?” Jeff came to a stop next to Abed, looking down at him with an expression that Abed didn’t recognize. He didn’t recognize most expressions. He could only really tell that frowns meant people were unhappy and smiles meant that people were happy, unless they were fake smiles, in which case, Abed would get lost again.

“Jeff.” Abed responded.

“What are you doing?” Abed thought that was a pretty silly question. It was sort of obvious, wasn’t it?

“I’m sitting.” Jeff sighed. Jeff sighed so much Abed wondered if it even meant anything anymore or if he just did it habitually.

“Why are you sitting on the floor in the middle of the hallway?” That was less obvious, so Abed supposed it warranted asking about.

“I was thinking about trying to open the door fast enough to let the lava out.” Silence. Abed didn’t really expect an immediate answer to that. He expected Jeff to just walk away, or make some sarcastic comment that Abed probably wouldn’t recognize as sarcasm. He didn’t expect Jeff to sit down next to him. He did expect the sigh Jeff gave as Jeff sat.

“We don’t need to have another group therapy session for you, do we?” Abed winced and drew his knees up to his chest. He pointedly turned his face away from Jeff. The answer to that was easy: no. A thousand times no. Abed never had and never will trust therapy. “Relax, I’m kidding.” Abed wondered if that was true, or if Jeff was just backpedaling. “Can you at least tell me what you’re talking about?” The burning on his back was becoming too painful to stand. Abed finally leaned forward and faced Jeff again.

“There’s lava behind the doors and in the walls.” Jeff frowned at Abed and Abed frowned back, more to imitate Jeff’s expression than anything else.

“You know that’s not true… right?”

“I know, but I see it anyway, and feel it.” More silence. Jeff was staring at him with another inscrutable-to-Abed expression.

“Is this about Troy?” Abed felt his chest tighten and a lump form in his throat. Abed never cried. When he was a child, he had cried when Mufasa in the Lion King died. His father told him that boys never cried and he had to toughen up if he wanted to be a man. Abed believed that for a long time. When Abed met Troy, he stopped believing it. Troy cried all the time, but he was one of the strongest men Abed had ever known. Still, it was rare that he even wanted to cry and when he did, it was hard to shake the habit of holding back his tears. Now, they pricked at the corners of his eyes and Abed reached up to wipe at them. “Abed, what happened to your wrist?” Jeff’s voice is slightly louder and though Abed had trouble understanding inflection, he knew Jeff was worried.

“Nothing. I just hit it, accidentally.” He lied. Friends don’t lie to each other, but what if something bad happened if they didn’t, like Troy not being able to leave, or Jeff getting into a fight with Buzz Hickey? That would be a fight Jeff would lose and it would be Abed’s fault if Jeff got hurt.

“I’m not an idiot, Abed.” Jeff took his hand. Abed tried to pull away but Jeff held fast. “It’s all the way around your wrist. Did you tie something to it?” Abed frowned sincerely this time. It was a lot slighter than his imitation frown, but someone who knew him well enough could pick up on it. “Abed?”

“I don’t want to tell you. I don’t want anything bad to happen.” Jeff tried to meet Abed’s eyes, but Abed had always detested eye contact. He looked over Jeff’s shoulder. He learned a long time ago that you can give the illusion of eye contact if you look over a person’s head or shoulder. There was yet another sigh from Jeff.

“Okay. You don’t have to tell me.” Abed didn’t believe that. He had known Jeff for over five years now. When Jeff wanted to know something, he would find out, no matter what. Even if that meant going a little crazy. Abed would have to tell him eventually, or maybe Jeff would get it out of Hickey. Either way, Abed didn’t see a way to avoid the conflict that would arise because of him. “Can you tell me this, then? You said you could feel the lava. Wouldn’t that kill you?”

“It would kill me if I was touching it directly. I can feel the heat coming through the walls and doors. It kind of burns if I actually touch the places it’s behind.”

“You were leaning up against the door a little while ago.”

“Yeah.” Abed offered up no explanation of why, because he didn’t have an explanation.

“You said you wanted to open the door fast enough to let the lava out. What the hell does that mean?” Jeff’s voice was a little rough now and Abed hugged his knees.

“Are you angry?”

“No, Abed. I’m just... scared.” That was a lot worse than Jeff being angry. Jeff didn’t scare easily and even when he was scared, he never admitted to being so. Abed didn’t want to be the reason Jeff Winger said he was scared. That meant Abed was doing something really wrong. “Just tell me what you meant.”

“Whenever I open doors, all the lava goes into the walls. I was wondering if I could open it fast enough, if it would spill out into the hall instead.”

“Wouldn’t it get on you then?” Jeff’s voice still had a rough edge to it but it was mostly softened now.

“I thought maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.” Abed didn’t really realize the way that might sound to Jeff until Jeff clapped his hand on Abed’s shoulder and gripped it so tight that it hurt and said:

“Do we need to make a DnD campaign for you? Because I’m not sure how that’s going to work since you’re the Dungeon Master.”

“I’m not suicidal, Jeff. I’m not even fake suicidal. Not really. I thought if I fake died, Britta could clone me again, but leave out the part of me that misses--” Abed cut himself off. Jeff pulled him into a hug, warm and tight. Abed thought things must be really bad, if Jeff was hugging him, because Jeff didn’t hug people much. Abed didn’t hug people much, either. In fact, he probably hugged people less than Jeff. The only person he really hugged was Troy. Abed let people hug him a lot, though, because he knew that people felt better when they thought they made Abed feel better. So, he didn’t pull away from Jeff, even though the smell of Jeff’s cologne stung his nose.

“Abed, you can’t clone yourself out of missing Troy.” Abed trembled in Jeff’s arms. “I think you might be seeing lava because you’re not letting yourself think about Troy.”

“If I think about him, then the lava will come out of the walls.”

“Sounds like the lava might be a metaphor for your emotions.” Abed fell into a huffy silence, because Jeff was starting to sound like Britta and he didn’t want to think about therapy.

“I don’t think crazy can be a metaphor, Jeff,” he said after a while. Jeff pulled away from the hug and tried to meet Abed’s eyes again. Abed looked above Jeff’s head this time, for variety’s sake.

“Just tell me you didn’t do that to yourself on purpose.” Jeff pointed at Abed’s wrist.

“I didn’t.” When Jeff didn’t stop frowning at him, Abed added, “I promise.” Jeff reached out and ruffled Abed’s hair. Abed made Annie’s offended noise and set about straightening it while Jeff stood up and held out a hand to help Abed up as well. Abed finished fixing his hair and took Jeff’s hand, letting Jeff haul him up.

“Do you want soft serve from the cafeteria? My treat.”

“Okay.”


	2. It Trickles

Abed was lying in Troy’s bed. Abed and Annie were supposed to be moving Troy’s stuff into storage, so Abed could move out of the blanket fort and take Troy’s room, but Abed kept making excuses for why they couldn’t do it yet. Today, he said it looked like it might rain. Annie, who normally never procrastinates, had been agreeing with Abed every time he gave a reason for not moving Troy’s things. Abed pressed his nose into Troy’s pillow. It smelled like him. Like fresh pajamas and pizza and home. Abed felt the side of the bed depress and he almost thought it was Troy, before he remembered that was impossible.

“Abed?” Annie’s voice was gentle and careful. He felt her place a hand on his back, just as gentle and careful. “Do you want to watch a movie?” Abed appreciated that she isn’t trying to get him to talk about Troy. He believed that she might have talked to Jeff about the lava and Abed thinking about fake killing himself.

“Which movie?” Abed paused. “Can it be The Babadook? I haven’t seen that one yet.” He knew Annie hated horror movies, but he wouldn’t mind watching it alone if he had to. There was a moment where Annie didn’t say anything and Abed knew she was hesitant to agree.

“Okay, but you can’t complain if I hide my eyes during the scary parts.” Abed agreed and they migrated out to the living room to watch the movie. Abed made popcorn and Annie clutched Abed, burying her face in the crook of his neck during the scary parts and for a while, Abed didn’t worry about the lava in the walls. Though he did sort of worry about Annie, who kept jumping at shadows after the movie ended.

\----

“My church offers grief counseling.” Shirley said, as if she was telling the group at large, even though Abed knew Shirley was really talking to him. He pretended not to have heard Shirley, and kept doodling a cartoon duck in his notebook.

“And?” Hickey shot Shirley a look of confusion. Britta gave a little huff.

“Does it involve the church telling you that all your problems can be solved with Jesus?” Even Abed caught the disdain in her voice. Shirley sniffed in a haughty manner.

“They give much more competent therapy than an unqualified psych major, and maybe they add a little Jesus in, but everyone can benefit from a little Jesus.”

“Did someone die or somethin’?” Hickey continued, cutting off Britta’s angry retort. Everyone fell silent and Abed could feel their eyes on him. He pushed his pencil to the paper harder. “Well?” Hickey pressed on.

“Well…” Britta began uncertainly. “You know how Troy left? Well, I think we’re just concerned about,” she paused, as if unsure if she should continue, “Abed.” She dropped her voice, as if Abed wouldn’t be able to hear her, even though he was sitting right next to her. “He and Troy were best friends and--”

“Oh, for God’s sake.” Hickey interrupted. Abed knew Shirley clutched her crucifix despite the fact that he wasn’t looking at her, because he was too busy drawing the water the duck was swimming in. “You don’t need to treat the kid like he’s a bomb. He doesn’t need god damn grief counseling 'cus his friend went on vacation, and if he does, then he needs to suck it up and face reality that people can’t always stay put and cater to him.” Silence followed that statement and it was tense and hot, angry. Though, maybe the heat was coming from the walls. Abed could suddenly hear the lava roiling behind them as if it was being churned and Abed thought it must be getting hotter.

“...I think, maybe, we should decide what we’re task we’re going to tackle next for the school.” Annie’s voice tentatively broke the silence, and the meeting continued as if nothing has happened. Abed drew flames on the water because it was lava now. He crossed out the duck’s eyes. Hickey somehow got stuck with the most difficult task this week.


	3. It Burns

“So, can people really run around after being shot in the shoulder, like on television?” Abed asked Hickey as he dumped another armful of potatoes into the wheelbarrow. He was helping Hickey clear the potatoes out of the gymnasium, since it was technically his fault Hickey got stuck with the chore in the first place. He had decided to use this as an opportunity to do more research for his screenplay.

“Not really.” Hickey grumbled as he tossed a couple potatoes into the cart. There was silence as Abed mentally rewrote parts of his screenplay. “Do you really think you need grief counseling because your friend is on a boat?” Abed dropped some potatoes he had been holding and scrambled to pick them up again.

“No,” he said softly. He hesitated before adding, “I don’t ask people to treat me like that, you know. Like I’m a bomb. They just sort of do. Well, some of them do.” Others treated him like he was something smelly they could get rid of by stuffing him into lockers or throwing him into dumpsters. Hickey made a sound that was sort of a cross between a hum and a sigh, and Abed didn’t really know what that meant.

“You don’t stop them,” he finally groused. That was true, Abed supposed. He had given up trying to do that a long time ago.

“People got mad at me when I did. I found that it made them feel better to try to help me. So, I would just pretend they could, so they wouldn’t leave me.”

“You don’t need help. You need to stop making things up for attention.” Abed looked away from Hickey. He forgot Hickey didn’t believe that Abed saw the things he did. Abed wasn’t sure what to say now.

“Okay.” He didn’t know what else to do but to agree. A moment later he yelped as a small fire sprung up in front of him. He began stamping it out before it could spread.

“What the hell are you doing?” Abed turned to see Hickey looking at him like he was insane. Then Abed realized he was. The fire wasn’t real, even if he could see it and feel it. The lava was under the floor now and that was what caused the “fire.”

“Uh… there was a bug,” he mumbled. “I have to go.” He grabbed his bag and bolted out of the gym, with Hickey shouting after him about leaving him with all the work.

\----

Abed was hardly sleeping. He never slept much before. He usually got six hours a night at the very most, but now every time he started to nod off, the lava started seeping out of the walls and filling the room. He figured he could get thirty minutes of sleep maximum before it overtook his bed, but the bright glow kept him up. He tried to burrow under the blankets to keep the light out, but then it was too hot to sleep.

The lava’s new sleep-related behavior started after he and Annie finally moved Troy’s stuff into storage, and Abed’s things into Troy’s room. Abed had ended up putting the bunk bed into storage and keeping Troy’s bed to sleep in, bed sheets and all. Abed thought it would be easier to sleep wrapped up in Troy’s scent, but he hadn’t expected the lava to start coming out of the walls every time he closed his eyes. After a few nights of this, he got so tired, even the light and the heat couldn’t keep him up. He ended up setting his alarm for twenty-five minutes at a time for three hours a night. After three hours, he couldn’t stand the constant waking up anymore, and he moved out into the living room to watch his DVDs.


	4. It Lurks

Abed had known he wouldn’t be able to hide it forever. He should have wrapped his wrist or covered it with something until it healed. Now Britta and Shirley have him cornered, quite literally, and it seemed like they wouldn’t leave until he told him how he got the bruises and scabs. He could feel the lava singeing his back through the walls and heating up the soles of his feet from under the floor.

“Abed, sweetie, we just want to help you,” Shirley cooed. Abed knew that, but he didn’t need the help they wanted to give him. Abed didn’t want Shirley to put Hickey’s head through a jukebox.

“I… fell?” It was a weak lie. The problem was the bruises were too distinctive to really lie about. Britta crossed her arms.

“Abed, I promise, this is a safe space. You can tell us what happened without fear of judgement,” Britta said, a soft smile on her face. Abed shifted and felt his arm burn. It was touching the wall. He jerked it away. He clamped his eyes shut and shook his head quickly.

“I’m fine. I don’t want to tell you. I’m fine. I’m fine.” He was feeling panic blooming in his chest. One of the girls gripped his shoulder.

“Abed, it’s okay. Did your… dad do it?” Britta’s voice was hesitant. Abed clenched his jaw. That was worse than the truth. He couldn’t throw his father under the bus just to protect Hickey.

“It was Hickey.” The words came tumbling out of his mouth like a flood. “I destroyed his drawings and he handcuffed me to the filing cabinet to teach me consequences and he made me miss my movie but it’s okay because I apologized and he’s helping me with my screenplay so don’t be mad at him.” Abed panted with the effort of saying all of that in one breath. Neither Shirley nor Britta spoke and he cracked his eyes open. Both of them are looking at him with similar expressions; frowns and wrinkled foreheads. Finally, Britta sighed softly.

“I thought it might be something like this. Jeff said you didn’t want to tell him how you got the injury because ‘something bad would happen’.” Abed nodded.

“I don’t want anyone getting into a fight with Hickey because of me.” He stiffened, startled when Shirley suddenly pulled him into a crushing hug.

“Oh, baby, don’t worry. We’ll just talk to him, okay?”

“No, that’s not what I want.” Abed was feeling ready to shut down. This was all overwhelming and almost certainly would have terrible consequences. It was also totally unnecessary. He didn’t even need to see a doctor because of his injuries, which was good, because he wouldn’t have. Shirley rubbed his back. Her hand was cold compared to the wall he had been pressed against and it helped him relax a bit.

“Abed, you know what he did was wrong, right? You know you weren’t the one who needed to apologize in that situation… right?” Britta sounded uncertain.

“I destroyed his drawings.”

“On purpose?” Shirley asked.

“No, it was an accident but I didn’t think of the consequences of my actions.” Abed thought those words didn’t sound right in his mouth and he wondered if he was quoting something.

“Oh, Lord.” Shirley murmured in his ear. Abed worried he’s said something wrong.

“Listen, Abed, what Hickey did was bad, okay? You can’t just handcuff people to filing cabinets when they make mistakes.” Abed didn’t know what to do or what to say and he felt all wrong.

“Okay.” He didn’t know what else to do but to agree.

\----

Abed picked at a loose thread in his sleeve. Jeff told him to meet him in the study room. Abed was slightly worried, considering his conversation with Britta and Shirley, but he had faith in Jeff. Jeff always knew the right thing to do, even if he didn’t always do it. Abed didn’t look up when Jeff entered or when he sat in the chair next to Abed, instead of in his usual spot.

“I had a talk with Hickey.” Jeff said. Abed didn’t answer. His throat felt too dry to speak. He wondered what Troy would have done about this if he had been around still. Abed thought Troy would probably be even more overprotective of Abed than the study group was being now. Abed’s chest clenched uncomfortably. This time, Abed didn’t stamp out the fire that sprouted up from the floor. “It didn’t exactly go… perfectly.” Abed tugged harder at the thread, working it even looser. “But… I told him I wouldn’t involve the police if he kept his hands and his comments about you to himself.”

“You didn’t need--” Abed started. He finally looked up at Jeff and felt his words die in his mouth. Jeff’s eye was puffy and black. “He hit you.” It wasn’t a question.

“We sort of hit each other. Sorry. I know that was what you were afraid of, but it wasn’t your fault. Things just got heated.”

“I… didn’t want you to get hurt.” Jeff wrapped an arm around him and pulled Abed to his side.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, either. You’re my friend, Abed. I care about you. I didn’t want Hickey to think he could treat you like that. It’s over now, so you don’t have to worry about it anymore.” That sounded nice, not worrying anymore. Abed breathed out and the fire died down on it’s own, though it left a scorch mark on the carpet.

“...Thanks, Jeff.” Jeff squeezed him just a little tighter.

“No problem.”


	5. It Strikes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short chapter. Think of it as a kind of interlude.

Abed prodded at his buttered noodles, curled up in one of the living room chairs. Tonight was potluck dinner night, a tradition that has carried over from the time they had all gotten expelled from Greendale. Everyone was eating in front of the TV. Once again, Abed’s contribution to the potluck was buttered noodles, because that was actually all he knew how to make. Sometimes, he bought food but he didn’t have a lot of money, and besides, who didn’t like buttered noodles? Well, except for Jeff, but he didn’t count because he didn’t eat starch.

Everyone’s voices faded into the background as Abed watched a small trickle of lava snake through his living room. He wasn’t entirely sure what was on the TV. He watched the lava, now an actual snake, slither up one of the table legs, leaving a blackened and burned trail behind it. For some reason, this didn’t seem very strange at all. The snake made it up onto the table. It slipped across it, weaving between the various dishes of food, and spiraled down another table leg. It headed for the chair Abed was sitting on. He kept watching it, transfixed. It hissed, steam issuing from its mouth, and raised itself up to look Abed in the eye. It swayed in place for a moment before lunging and sinking it’s teeth into Abed’s shoulder. Pain shot through him. Someone shouted his name. Abed jerked awake. Lava was almost up to the seat of Abed’s chair but it quickly began receding into the walls now that he was awake. His bowl of buttered noodles was upside down on the floor.

“Good Lord, I thought you had some kind of attack.”

“What?” Abed blinked at Shirley. Everyone was staring at him.

“You just sort of fell asleep, I guess.” Britta shrugged before frowning. “You okay?” Abed nodded numbly. He bent to pick up his bowl, but Annie beat him to it.

“Let me take care of it. You should go get some sleep.”

“No, I’m fine.” Despite everyone (besides Jeff) insisting he at least take a nap, he helped Annie clean up his mess and sat back down to watch TV with everyone, this time sans food. He wasn’t really all that hungry anyway. When Britta brought out some six packs, Abed drank almost as much as Jeff. They both ended up stumbling into Troy’s/Abed’s bedroom for the night. Abed fell into bed first, Jeff ended up on top of him. Abed didn’t mind. The heavy weight pressing down on him was comforting. Too comforting. He didn’t manage to set his alarm before he fell asleep. Despite this, no bright glow of lava woke him up or engulfed him during the night.


	6. It Flows

Troy had been kidnapped by pirates. The words scrolled by on Abed’s television screen. At first he thought he was just hallucinating them but then he heard a gasp and a crash. Annie had clapped a hand to her mouth and in doing so, had dropped a plate on the ground, where it shattered. The ticker didn’t say ‘Troy’ specifically, but Levar Burton’s ‘non-celebrity companion,’ like Troy was a non-entity. Abed could feel anger bubbling up inside him, just like lava. “Oh, Abed.” Annie’s voice sounded all wrong to Abed. “I’m going to turn it up.” Annie said, and she turned the volume up on the television. Abed barely heard the words. The anchor said something about more information as it became available. There was a rushing sound. He realized almost too late that it was the sound of the lava pouring out of the walls. He jumped up on one of the living room chairs, his high-pitched sound of alarm spilling out of him uncontrollably. Annie was shouting something, but Abed wasn’t listening. He needed to get to the kitchen table. It was higher off the ground. He lept and the last thing he saw was the table rushing towards him.

Abed opened his eyes to see white walls and whiter lights. People are staring down at him. He tried to sit up, but a hand pressed down firmly on his chest. “Relax, Abed.” The voice was familiar. The faces surrounding him come into focus. Jeff, the one who had spoken and to whom the hand on his chest belonged, Britta, Annie, and Shirley. Annie looked like she had been crying, her eyes red and puffy.

“What…?” Abed started. His throat and lips felt dry and cracked.

“You hit your head.” Annie said in a trembling voice. Abed attempted to remember doing so but the last thing he remembered was… was the lava coming into the room. “We… we had just heard about Troy getting kidnapped and you just… you just kind of freaked out, and jumped off the back of the living room chair. You hit your head on the table.” She whimpered and rubbed her eyes.

“I was trying to…” Abed blinked. His head hurt and it was making everything fuzzy. “Is Troy still… is the news still going on?”

Everyone filled Abed in on what the news said, that the pirates were after Burton’s cash, that the Coast Guard is still negotiating with them, that for now Troy is okay.

“Abed, you want to tell us what the hell you were thinking? Cracking your skull open isn’t going to make Troy any safer,” Jeff said, his eyebrows high on his head.

“I was trying to escape the lava.” Abed mumbled. He heard a gasp, from either Britta or Annie. He wasn’t looking. He didn’t want to see everyone looking at him like he was crazy, even though he was.

“Oh, Abed.” Shirley’s voice and words reminded Abed forcibly of Annie saying the exact same thing just a little while ago.

“I thought the lava was gone now… since I cloned you.” Abed’s fingers tightened into the hospital blankets.

“It was gone,” he muttered. Someone put their hand on his shoulder and Abed closed his eyes. He was tired. He couldn’t sleep though, or the lava would come out of the walls again. He heard someone say something about sleeping and then they all start shuffling out of the room. Abed felt panic seize him. Panic that had nothing to do with Troy or lava and everything to do with the machine beeping out his vitals and the soft murmur of doctors with their patients. His eyes snapped open and he grabbed Jeff’s arm. Jeff sighed.

“Oh, right. Doctors.” Jeff pulled a chair from somewhere and sat next to Abed’s bed. “Don’t worry. They’re just keeping you for observation. They already stitched you up and everything.” Abed frowned and touched his forehead gingerly. His skin stung where his fingers connected. He could feel the bumps and ridges where his stitches were. “Don’t mess with it.”

“Was anyone there when they were stitching me up?” He didn’t trust doctors. They could have done anything to him while he was unconscious. Could have put things in his head for all he knew.

“Annie was there.” Abed relaxed a little.

“Okay, good.”

“You look awful, you know.” Abed cocked his head at the statement, blinking a few times.

“Well, I did just cut my head open.” Jeff shook his head.

“I don’t mean that. You look like you haven’t slept in a year.”

“Every time I try to, the lava starts coming out of the walls.” Jeff made a noncommittal noise.

“You managed to be unconscious without being burned up.” Abed supposed that was true, but knowing that didn’t feel like enough.

“That’s different.” Another sigh from Jeff. “Plus, I can’t sleep here. What if the doctors do some sort of autopsy on me.” Jeff rolled his eyes but the corners of Abed’s lips quirked down. He was completely serious.

“Do you really think I’d let them do that to you?” Abed was quiet for a moment before he shook his head.

“I still don’t want to sleep here…” Abed hit upon a sudden idea. “When they release me, can you take me back to your apartment?” Jeff’s eyebrows shot all the way up.

“Uh, sure, why?” Abed shrugged, even though he knew the reason for his request.

“Your bed is higher off the ground than mine.” That wasn’t the reason Abed wanted to go to Jeff’s place, but it wasn’t technically a lie, either. Jeff’s eyebrows remained raised, but he made no further comment.

\----

“I’m not going to do that, Abed.” Jeff was staring at Abed in a way that he’s never stared at Abed before. Abed felt awkward. It wasn’t something he was used to feeling, because usually he didn’t know enough about social situations to realize he should feel awkward. Besides, in the rare moments where he did know, he didn’t care. There was no point in caring when he messed up all the time anyway. He didn’t exactly have a reputation to ruin. This time it was different, though. Abed wasn’t exactly sure why, but he didn’t like it. “Here’s why: you’re hurt right now, and besides, worst idea ever.” Abed made a kicked puppy face at Jeff, and even though it’s entirely fake, Jeff seemed to fall for it, faltering slightly before he crossed his arms as if strengthening his resolve.

“Why?” Abed wasn’t sure he wanted to hear all the reasons why, actually. “Don’t answer that. I just want to sleep, Jeff.”

“So sleep. I don’t see why you need me to lay on top of you.”

“It’s to keep the lava away. It worked before. When we were both drunk and slept in Troy’s bed.” Jeff stopped furrowing his eyebrows so he could raise them instead.

“The bed in your room is Troy’s?” Abed didn’t see what that had to do with anything, but he answered anyway.

“It’s Troy’s room.” Jeff threw up his arms and Abed didn’t really know what that meant, so he stayed silent.

“Were you two…?” Abed didn’t need Jeff to finish the question to know what he was going to ask. It was a question Abed had been asked before, by everyone else in the study group, and quite a few other people outside it, as well. Abed suspected the only reason Jeff had never asked before was because he had been too busy pretending he didn’t care and was above it all.

“We weren’t dating. Or sleeping together. We were just friends.” Jeff rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and sighed deeply.

“No. You really weren’t.” Abed wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean. He put his sock-covered feet on the edge of Jeff’s couch, so his knees were against his chest. He rested his chin against them and stared at Jeff until Jeff spoke again. “Did you ever think maybe being laid on wasn’t what kept the lava away? You were drunk.”

“Are you saying I should get drunk every time I want to sleep? I figured this was the healthier option.” Jeff rubbed his face again. He didn’t seem to have a response to that.

“Troy’s coming back. You know that, right?” Abed felt his chest tightening and the heat in the room rising.

“You don’t know that. He’s kidnapped.”

“He’s going to be okay. He’s going to come back, Abed. When he does, are you going to tell him you’re in love with him? Because you really should.” Abed tried to ignore the fire that was consuming Jeff’s coffee table. He couldn’t deal with this, so he did what he always did when he couldn’t cope with something. He shut down. Stopped moving, stopped speaking, stopped hearing, or even thinking. The only thing he didn’t stop is breathing. Well, also, he didn’t really stop thinking because Abed couldn’t stop doing that anymore than he could stop breathing. But he stopped thinking about anything important. Instead he started running through all the titles of DVDs he owned, because it helped him not think about the bad stuff. Jeff was talking but Abed wasn’t listening.

Eventually, he felt arms closing around him, one under his legs and one under his arms. He was being lifted up and up and up… Jeff really was very tall. Jeff said something about Abed weighing too little. After a few moments, Abed felt his body press into something soft and slightly bouncy. He realized Jeff has put him into a bed. Then, he felt all of Jeff’s weight press down on top of him, slowly and carefully. It relaxed him enough that he could stop going through DVD titles and start wondering if Jeff was doing this because he thought it would help Abed, or if he was doing it because Abed had asked him to and Jeff was trying to make up for breaking him. Abed didn’t have much time to think on this, though, because his thoughts were soon giving way to sleep.

Jeff was still on top of him when Abed woke up, though only really half on top of him, having shifted in the night. Jeff was asleep. Abed had learned from many years of both observation and information from reliable sources that Jeff didn’t sleep for very long, and when he did sleep, he was easy to wake up. Abed gently prodded Jeff’s side and Jeff’s eyes snapped open as if he was awake the whole time. Jeff scrambled off of him and Abed wondered if Jeff had forgotten about falling asleep on top of him on purpose. There was silence while Abed stared at Jeff and Jeff got his bearings, rubbing his eyes and stretching. “Are you…?” Jeff began, before stopping. “Do you want eggs and toast?” He seemed to be watching Abed more closely than usual. Abed thought about it before nodding.

“Okay.” Jeff looked relieved, and Abed figured Jeff thought Abed was still broken from last night. Abed still was kind of broken from last night, but not so much he couldn’t talk or think, just as long as they didn’t have to talk or think about… you-know-who. And that didn’t mean Voldemort. Abed slipped out of bed and stretched. He could feel the lines in his skin from where the fabric from his clothes pressed into it all night. Jeff clapped him on the back and exited the bedroom. Abed looked down at his feet and wiggled his toes, digging them into the carpet. He wondered if the being laid on thing would work with any of the others. He was especially interested in finding out if it would work with Annie, because Annie lived with him and it would be a lot more convenient if she could do it. That way no one had to sleep outside of their own house. He also wondered if it had to be people. Maybe he could just get Annie to lay a bunch of weights on him, only that sounded a lot more uncomfortable than a person lying on him. He’d have to experiment.


	7. It Drips

Abed’s phone rang. He was sitting in Troy’s bed when it happened, laptop propped open on his legs. He grabbed his phone and checked the caller ID. He felt his heart do a funny little flip when he saw Troy’s name and he answered immediately. “Troy?” He had a terrifying thought that this was one of Troy’s pirate kidnappers who had stolen Troy’s phone and now was calling Abed for some reason, but that thought didn’t last when Abed heard Troy’s voice. It was crackly and cut in and out, but the reception was good enough that Abed could still make out what he was saying.

“Abed!” Troy sounded excited and Abed’s lips twitched upward. He pushed his laptop off of his lap and curled up on top of the bed. “I was kidnapped! By pirates! It was so not awesome, but also, it kind of was? I mean, pirates, dude.” That was such a Troy thing to say. Abed suddenly felt cold for the first time in months and it was wonderful, because that meant the lava was gone.

“I know. It was on the news.” Abed’s own voice didn’t sound right in his ears. It’s kind of breathless and high. “Are you okay?” That was the most important thing.

“Yeah. I thought I was going to not be but I am. We’re docked on shore, now, which is why I can call you. Anyway, I figured it would have been on the news, cus, you know, Levar Burton getting kidnapped by pirates and all. He’s okay, too, by the way. So, I thought you guys would be worried. I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay and he’s okay and the pirates didn’t even get a cent, so serves them totally right.” Abed wanted to to say he knew Troy would be okay, but that would be a lie so he just breathed out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“I was worried. We all were.”

“Well, I’m okay now. Those pirates didn’t even have peg legs or eye patches, so it was pretty lame.”

“Pirates should have eye patches, at least,” Abed agreed. Abed could almost hear Troy nodding.

“Yeah. Listen, man. I wish I could talk to you more, but this is really expensive and I don’t have Pierce’s inheritance yet. I’m going to try to find some free wifi, though, so stay logged onto Skype, okay? And I’m going to send you a postcard from here, once I find out where here even is.”

“Okay.” Abed felt his heart lifting a little at the prospect of more correspondence from Troy. Then he added, “I miss you.” He almost regretted saying the words, because he didn’t want Troy to think there’s anything wrong. He didn’t want Troy to know Abed regretted letting him go, because there was a large part of Abed that was very aware that it was for the best.

“I miss you, too, dude. Like, so much. Like as much as the moon.” That shouldn’t make sense to Abed, but it did anyway, and Abed felt a little selfish for being glad that Troy missed him that much.

“I miss you as much as the moon, too.”

\----

After Troy’s phone call, the lava stayed away for a few days, even though Troy apparently hadn’t been able to find free wifi, since Abed never got a Skype message or call from him. Annie threw a party to celebrate Troy getting away from the pirates safely and Abed drank so much soda pop that his stomach hurt for an entire day and a half. Even Jeff had ended up singing karoake into a paper cup and Abed knew that for all of Jeff’s posturing that he knew Troy would be fine all along, he was just as immensely relieved as the rest of them.

Slowly, though, as the week passed and then another, the lava began filling the walls again. Annie was the first to notice Abed’s good mood ebbing away and the first thing she asks was if Hickey had said something to him, or worse, hurt him again. That made Abed realize that Hickey hadn’t said anything to him since Hickey and Jeff had gotten into a fight, and Abed hadn’t asked him about his screenplay, either, so he guessed the knife cut both ways on this one. That might not be the right expression. He assured Annie that he was fine (not fyne, so it’s not technically a lie), and Hickey hadn’t done anything, before he resolved to try to make things right with Hickey. Mostly because he really, really needed Hickey’s help with his screenplay.

He found Hickey in his office, drawing more bad cartoon ducks. Abed wondered how someone could spend all their time drawing and still be so bad at it, but he didn’t say that out loud. One of the benefits of having been friends with the study group for so long was that they taught him the basics of having a filter. Hickey covered up his drawings with student homework, like he always did, and glared up at Abed, also like he always did. “What do you want, kid?” Abed stared down at Hickey for a while, because he hadn’t actually thought of anything to say. Hickey seemed to be getting grumpier with every second that passed, though, so Abed hurried to say something before Hickey banned him from the office or worse, handcuffed Abed to something again.

“I’m sorry about what happened between you and Jeff. I was promised my friends were just going to talk to you, not punch you…” Hickey spun his chair just a little to each side, back and forth, as he looked up at Abed.

“That handcuffing thing… I thought we worked through that. Thought it was just going to stay between us. Why didn’t you tell them not to talk to me at all?” Hickey’s voice was less accusing than Abed expected. Abed had to think, really think about his response to that, because it wasn’t as simple as Abed originally thought it was. He had thought they had worked through it, too. He had thought that they were friends because Abed had apologized and Hickey was helping Abed with his screenplay, but… Abed kept what happened a secret from his friends because he was afraid that Hickey would hurt them, and he was afraid Hickey would be mad at Abed. That wasn’t really friendship. That wasn’t even things being okay between Abed and Hickey, and that was why Abed hadn’t told his friends that they didn’t need to talk to Hickey.

“You never apologized to me. I said sorry for ruining your drawings, but you never said sorry for handcuffing me to the cabinet. That wasn’t okay. It was painful and scary. You can’t handcuff people to stuff because they ruined your drawings. I thought it was okay at first because I’m used to people doing things like that to me. I learned it was okay for people to treat me like that because I’m different and being different is bad.” Abed cocked his head slightly, blinking at Hickey. “But it’s not actually bad. It’s just different. Hurting people is bad, and you hurt me.” Abed paused again. “I am sorry for ruining your drawings. Sometimes I do things without thinking about the possible consequences, and that’s wrong. Now it’s your turn to apologize.” Hickey stared at Abed for a while, and Abed was afraid that maybe Hickey was going to hurt him, but then Hickey sighed.

“I’m not really good at apologizing…” he said gruffly. “Seems like ever since that Winger started working here, that’s all I’ve been doing.” Abed cocked his head to the other side, and waited for Hickey to finish talking. “I’m sorry.” Hickey said the words like they were physically hurting him. “...I’ve been thinking, especially since Winger and I had that ‘talk.’ Maybe you’re not as spoiled as I thought. Maybe you’re not someone I understand, but maybe that’s fine. It’s not fine to handcuff you to things. So, yeah… sorry.” Abed nodded.

“So, we’re cool?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Because I was wondering about this one part in my script…”


	8. It Sleeps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay had to edit this chapter a bit because originally I had Troy in Australia but then I changed my mind since Australia was too far away. I didn't want Troy to be that far along in his trip, yet. So I changed it to Spain but forgot to change the location the postcard was from, as well as the landmark pictured on the front of the postcard.

Troy’s promised postcard arrives fourteen days after he said he was going to send it. Annie wanted him to read it to her but he took it to his/Troy’s room and promised to let her read it later. She seemed to understand. Abed sat on Troy’s bed and opened up the envelope. There was a postcard, but there was also another paper in there. The postcard was from Spain. It had a picture of a grand church, several spires poking high into the air. Abed didn't recognize it, and the only way he knew it was from Spain was the word 'Barcelona' typed across the bottom. The paper turned out to actually be an unfolded envelope. It’s torn a little at the edges. Abed picks up the postcard first and turns it over. Troy’s writing is small and cramped here, especially at the end.

_Dear Abed, Annie, Jeff, Shirley, and Britta,_

_I’m in Spain, now, which is cool, even though it turns out “Spainish” is not a language and everyone here just speaks regular Spanish. How come people in Mexico don’t speak Mexicanish? Somebody ask Dr. Escodera for me. Actually this whole trip has been pretty cool so far, aside from the whole being kidnapped by pirates thing which sounds cool on paper… or… postcard, I guess, but actually is not cool in practice. Anyway, Levar answered all of my Star Trek questions and sometimes we sing the Reading Rainbow song to the dolphins and they seem to like it. I wonder if dolphins can read. I miss you guys a whole bunch and you’re all probably going to get way more souvenirs than you know what to do with when I get back. I’ll try to send more postcards, too. I kind of slacked on that because actually sailing around the world is actually kind of a big deal, and there’s so much to do when we’re docked. But I know it must suck not to have the best member of the study group around without even postcards to hold you over until I get back ;P Um, it’s kind of weird to write out emoticons instead of typing them out. I’m running out of room. Annie, don’t work too hard, Jeff, you should tell your class that in Spain, prostitutes have to wear high visibility vests for their own safety, Britta, remember you’re the best, Shirley, I tried telling the dolphins about Jesus for you, Abed, I wrote more for you on the other paper._

_Love,_

_Troy_

Abed was smiling in the way that kind of hurt his face. It was nice to know that Troy is still thinking of them, even when having big grand adventures. It was even nicer that Troy sent a letter just for Abed. Abed put down the postcard and picked up the letter instead.

_Dear Abed,_

_Okay, so postcards are like, way too tiny, man. I didn’t have any spare paper so I had to buy an envelope and take it apart. You’d think post offices would have paper for writing letters on but they don’t. Not unless you want to buy a pack of flower-y stationary and I don’t have a lot of cash on me. Anyway, don’t tell the others, because I said this trip is totally awesome, but it’s maybe not totally awesome all the time. I mean, it is pretty cool, but like, when we’re out at sea, and Levar’s gone to sleep, I just… miss you, like… so much. Like so much it hurts a whole lot, dude. I mean, I’m still glad I’m doing this because I think it’s something I needed to do and stuff but I wish I could talk to you more. I think I can still figure out who I am as my own person and everything and still Skype call my best friend. But like, these plugs don’t fit my laptop plug. Levar says I need an adaptor. I wish I thought of that before I left. I’m trying not to rely too much on Levar’s money, because I think that kind of defeats the purpose of this trip and also, like, it’s Levar Burton. It just feels weird borrowing money from him, even though he says when I get my inheritance, I’ll be even richer than him, which is crazy. But once I find an adaptor in a store I’m totally going to get it, even if I have to ask Levar to buy it and I’ll pay him back when I get the inheritance, because I can’t stand like, not talking to you, man. Also, I think Levar can’t stand me not talking to you because I think he might be getting sick of me telling you about all the stuff we did because I’m starting to tell him stories I’ve already told him. He does say you sound really cool, though, so like, think about that. Levar Burton thinks you sound cool. I told him you’re way cooler than me because you make things magical. Anyway, I hope you’re doing okay. I can’t help but worry about you. I know you can take care of yourself and stuff but like, I don’t know what I’d do if something bad happened to you and I wasn’t even there for you. It would pretty much be the worst thing ever. When I get back, you have to tell me everything that happened when I was gone. Like, every single detail. I’ll tell you everything I did, too. We can have like a blanket fort pow-wow where we just tell each other stuff. Okay, so, this post office guy is giving me the stink-eye because I’ve been sitting on his floor and writing these letters for like a whole half hour, so I’m going to end this here. Just remember to stay on Skype for when I’m finally able to get online, and also don’t delete any recordings of our shows unless there’s reruns. Also, watch The Dark Knight twice for me. And don’t let Annie do all the housework. And also I forgot to say this when I left but if any air conditioning repairman drop by or talk to you at school, just tell them their messiah is on a vision quest or whatever._

_Love you,_

_Troy_

Abed pressed the letter to his chest when he was done reading. It felt cooler in the room and Abed couldn’t hear the bubbling of the lava. Abed wondered if it has something to do with the fact that Troy signed the letter “love you” and not just “love.” That meant something, didn’t it? Actually, it reminded Abed of something. Something long forgotten. It was a vague memory of Troy telling Abed that he loved him. Of course, Troy has told Abed that a lot of times, but it was always punctuated with a “dude” or a “man.” Very carefully platonic and usually in junction with a manly back pat. What Abed was remembering, what he can’t believe he forgot, involved Troy staring down at him (from a window?), telling Abed “I love you” like he really meant it in every way. It didn’t really make much sense to Abed, but it still made his heart flutter in a hopeful kind of way. Abed folded the letter up and slipped it under Troy’s pillow.

\----

Abed was on his fifth coffee, watching a sitcom he can’t quite remember the name of. He hadn’t slept longer than twenty-five minutes at a time since that night at Jeff’s apartment. He jumped slightly when he felt something heavy, really heavy, drape over his shoulders. He looked up and through a tired haze, he saw Annie smiling brightly at him.

“Weighted blanket!” She said, cheerful. Abed blinked at her, tilted his head slightly, and waited for her to explain. She sighed, sounding a little exasperated. Abed thought that was fair. He could be difficult to deal with at the best of times. It probably wasn’t fun to have a sleep-deprived Abed as a roommate. It would be kind of like having a zombie robot as a roommate. That was a little difficult to imagine. Would a zombie robot have started out as a zombie or a robot? Probably a zombie since zombies can be enhanced with mechanical parts, but robots can’t really become zombies. Besides “zombie” comes first in the name. “Abed, are you listening?” Abed snapped out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” Annie sighed again.

“You told me you couldn’t sleep without something heavy on top of you, riiight?” Abed nodded a little and Annie continued. “Well, I found these blankets online that have weights in them. It’s perfect right?” Abed wasn’t so sure, because it’s not a person, and he hadn’t tested the non-person weight theory yet, but Annie was staring at him expectantly, so he nodded again. “Well, go try it out. You look about ready to keel over. Don’t worry about doing the dishes today. I’ll cover for you!” Abed thought that Annie probably enjoyed doing the dishes, so he just nodded again and wrapped himself tighter in the blanket. He fell asleep right there in the chair, and the lava stayed where it belonged, safely behind the walls.


	9. It Leaves

Abed was sitting in his Dreamatorium. Ever since the lava had come back, he’d been spending more and more time in there. It was easy to lose himself in the simulations, and forget about what the lava being here meant, because Abed knew it meant something, and that something probably had something to do with Troy. Thinking about Troy was kind of like sticking his hand in lava, Abed decided. It’s painful and just might kill him, but slowly and probably from poisonous fumes or melting. That analogy wasn’t perfect. In any case, it was a lot easier not to think about Troy, or that what Jeff said about Troy, about how Abed felt about Troy, was maybe sort of right.

Abed was just telling some simulated blorgons that their space was up, when the door of his Dreamatorium was flung open. The simulation faded away and Abed blinked in the bright light. He was surprised to see Jeff looking down at him. “Jeff, you can’t just open the Dreamatorium’s door when a simulation is in progress. It might short circuit the hologenerator.” Jeff just raised one eyebrow at Abed.

“Well, nothing’s on fire, so I think the sensitive, high tech, cardboard box with a flashlight taped to the inside is fine. I’ll try not to tamper with it in the future.”

“I’d appreciate it.” Jeff snorted.

“Can we talk?” Abed raised his eyebrows. He didn’t really know if that was such a good idea. Abed shifted uncomfortably before he stood up.

“We can, but we have to do it in here.” Jeff looked like he was in pain for a moment before he stepped into the Dreamatorium with Abed. The Dreamatorium, this version, at least, wasn’t really meant for more than one person. Abed and Jeff’s torsos were almost touching and Jeff had to bend down a little, because the box was four inches shorter than him. Abed thought he should probably upgrade the Dreamatorium to a seven foot tall model, because even though Abed was shorter than Jeff, the top of his head was pressed against the roof of the Dreamatorium.

“Are you sure we can’t have this conversation outside of the refrigerator box?”

“Dreamatorium.” Abed corrected. “And I think this is probably the ideal place to have a serious conversation.” Abed wouldn’t budge on this because if things got too serious, he could just simulate something to lighten the mood. When Troy was still here, and he and Abed had to have serious conversations (usually about who got the top bunk that night, but one time it was about that time, when their friendship had been less than awesome), Abed would simulate himself as Troy, and Troy as Abed and they would have the conversation as each other. That made everything easier to talk about. Abed didn’t think that would work with Jeff, because, for one, Jeff would never play along, and for another, Jeff didn’t understand Abed like Troy did. But having the option to at least attempt it was somewhat comforting.

“Listen when you were at my place a few days ago… I think I freaked you out. I didn’t mean to do that, so sorry about that.” Abed nodded, but didn’t say anything, waiting for Jeff to finish. “But, Annie keeps telling me how you’re not eating as much as you used to, and you didn’t even eat enough before, and how you’re not sleeping--”

“I am now. Annie got me this special blanket.” Jeff raised his eyebrows, but didn’t ask.

“Well, anyway, she also says you barely ever leave this room anymore, and you’re still worried about lava in the walls.” Abed shifted uncomfortably. This was getting dangerously close to the forbidden topic. “You can’t stay like this until Troy gets back, Abed. He’s only been gone for a couple of months. Do you really think you can last like this for a whole year?” A low whine exited Abed’s throat, a sure sign of danger.

“I don’t want to talk about this. Let’s not talk about this.” Jeff frowned at Abed.

“Well, we have to, because we’re all worried about you, Abed. Do you think Troy would want you to torture yourself like this?”

“That’s unfair. I’m not doing this on purpose.” Jeff sighed.

“I just meant, I’m sure Troy wouldn’t want this for you. Hell, if he knew, I’m sure he’d come straight home, but… I don’t think you want him to do that, right?” Abed shook his head. He wanted Troy to be able to figure himself out. Abed even wanted not to need Troy, but he’s starting to worry that wasn’t possible. “Abed, you don’t usually repress your feelings. I think that’s what’s causing this. You need to own up to how you feel, both to yourself and Troy. I don’t think the lava will go away until you do that.” It felt as if there was something trying to claw its way out of his chest. Abed slid down the wall of the Dreamatorium. There was barely room to sit with Jeff in here, but he manages it by putting his feet on either side of Jeff’s. “Abed?”

“You were right.” Abed’s voice sounded wrong to him again, like it had with Troy, but instead of being breathless and too high, it’s soft and a little cracked. “I am in love with him. I didn’t even realize it until he left and now that he has left…” Abed wrapped his arms around himself. “I don’t want to think about it. What if I tell him and he never comes back? What if I wait to tell him until he comes back and he just leaves again? What if I never even get to tell him because he never comes back and never talks to me again, because he gets kidnapped by pirates again and they… or because he just decides he’s better off without me?” Abed didn’t want to talk about this, but now that he was, he couldn’t stop himself from unloading everything that was weighing on his mind. “I’d rather he’d never know and I never think about it and the lava stays until he comes back and then everything goes back to normal because I liked the way things were.” Abed stared at his hands because it’s easier than looking at Jeff. He felt Jeff put his hand on his head.

“I know you don’t like change, Abed, but things can’t go back to normal. That’s sort of the point of Troy leaving in the first place. He’ll have changed. But you know, you will have to. That’s just human nature.”

“I don’t change, Jeff. I told you before…”

“But you have changed, Abed. I remember what you were like when we first met. You understand things you didn’t use to understand. You do things you didn’t use to do. You can use sarcasm and you drink beer for no other reason than just to be drinking with the rest of us. You learned how to be a good friend, Abed. A best friend. And you learned that change doesn’t have to be so scary. When Troy gets back, things will probably be different, but that’s okay because I know there’s one thing that won’t have changed, and that’s that you and Troy will love each other, even if that’s not in the romantic way. Troy isn’t going to not come back because you tell him you’re in love with him. He’s not going to come back and then leave you again because of the same. And he’s definitely not going to decide that he’s better off without you. Troy cares about you and you care about him. You’ll be friends no matter what.” Abed felt the clawing thing in his chest calm. Jeff’s words lifted the oppressive heat Abed had been operating under ever since he first noticed the lava. Abed knew it was gone now. He also knew it could come back, but not if Abed didn’t let it. Not if he was honest with himself and Troy.

“Thanks, Jeff.” Then, “Can you leave the Dreamatorium? I can’t stand up with you in here.”


	10. He's Coming

Troy did eventually get an adaptor for his laptop, and he did eventually find free wifi from time to time. It turned out you get what you pay for when it came to free wifi. Whenever Troy called Abed, the feed was choppy and cut out entirely sometimes, but it was worth it to see Troy, hear his voice and see him smile. They didn’t talk about anything important. It was too hard to do that when you have to repeat everything more than once, and when Troy couldn’t stay too long because he had a new country to explore and supplies to gather for when he and Levar set off again. Abed was glad that Jeff helped him get rid of the lava before Troy Skype called him, because even with the shitty internet, Troy would have been able to tell there was something wrong with Abed. Abed didn’t want to worry him.

Troy also sent more postcards to the group at large, sometimes also sending more deconstructed envelopes where he’s written stuff just for Abed. They usually contained his thoughts on his current location, like: _Australia is pretty awesome, even though there aren’t kangaroos and koalas roaming the streets like I’d thought there would be. There’s a lot less deadly snakes and spiders then I thought, so I guess it balances it out. Also, dude, like, never eat Vegemite. It’s the worst stuff ever. I think it was literally just invented as a practical joke on the rest of the world. Like, hey, rest of the world, Australia has this stuff called Vegemite and it’s super delicious, try some! And then the rest of the world does and it’s horrible and Australia just laughs. Basically my point is don’t trust Australia._ He also told them about strange laws that Jeff could share with his class, such as: _In Finland, taxi drivers have to pay royalties if they play music in their cars for paying customers, isn’t that crazy?_ Abed wished he could write back, but he knew Troy didn’t stay in the same place long enough.

Months passed and Abed told Troy about Shirley moving to Georgia, and the newest member of the Save Greendale Committee, Frankie. Troy told Abed about the places he’d been to and that one time Levar almost got bit by a shark. Abed got more and more nervous as the anniversary of Troy’s departure approached. Then he received a letter from Troy, what he hoped would be one of the last because soon Troy wouldn’t need to send letters to talk to him. Abed opened the letter while curled up on what he still thought of as Troy’s bed, but now also thought of it as his own bed, because it smelled more like him than it did Troy these days, anyway.

_Dear Abed, and also everyone else but mostly Abed,_

_I’m writing this letter right before Levar and I set sail for America. I’m coming home, guys!_

It became a little hard to read at that point, because Abed’s hands started shaking.

_That part was for everyone else, so tell everyone that, Abed. Now for the stuff that’s for you… I’m not really sure how to say this but like… that trip was cool and all and it totally achieved what it was supposed to but you know what I realized, man? I kind of knew who I was this whole time. I never stopped missing you, or everyone else, and that kind of made me realize that being your own person doesn’t mean being like… all alone, you know? Part of me is you. And like, part of me is Jeff and Annie and Britta and Shirley and even Pierce. Because you guys are so important to me and that’s not going to ever not be true. I remember Jeff said, a few weeks before I left, that my entire identity was consumed by my relationship with another man. At first I thought he meant Clive Owen, of course, but when I realized he meant you, it kind of scared me, because that’s sort of what everyone had been saying, right? Like I wasn’t Troy and you weren’t you, we were just Troy and Abed, and I was just your sidekick. But that’s so not true. I was always Troy and you were always Abed and Troy and Abed was something we were together. Anyways, I’m Troy. I like football and blanket/pillow forts and I hate spiders and I cry about people letting go of balloons because the balloon must feel so scared and lonely up in the sky and I also cry at sad parts in Disney movies and lately, about not being with my bestest best friend in the whole wide world. Anyway, I want you to know this stuff now, because I might be a little different just because it’s been a year and I’ve done a lot of stuff and also I’ll be rich soon which is weird, but I want you to know that I’m still Troy and we’re still best friends. Anyway, I’ll shoot you a text when I get back in America. I don’t know when that will be._

_Love you,_

_Troy_

Abed’s heart was beating painfully hard against his ribcage when he finished reading the letter. He didn’t know what to do. He ended up dashing into the living room and knocking a little too hard on Annie’s door. She took in his expression, his eyes wide, his eyebrows lifted all the way up, and she started freaking out herself, thinking something was horribly wrong and there’s a moment where they’re just panicking and neither knew why the other one was panicking, until Abed blurted out, “Troy’s coming home.” Annie hugged Abed around the middle and managed to spin him around even though he’s over a half foot taller than her. She immediately launched into party planning mode and Abed sunk into one of the living room chairs and just let her ramble about how they were going to need “sooo many banners!”


	11. He's Here

It was eight in the morning, a few weeks after Abed received Troy’s letter. Abed was making cereal in the kitchen, when he got a text from Troy. _I’m in New York City!_ it read, and Abed felt tremble-y and a little sick and he started worrying. How long did it take for someone to get from New York City to Greendale, Colorado? What if Troy didn’t want to come back to Colorado? He’d seen so much, what if he decided he wanted to live somewhere else? What if everything he said in his letter turned out to not be true? Abed felt someone shaking his shoulder. He looked up and realized, at some point, he had sat down on the kitchen floor, and that he had gotten Troy’s text an hour ago. Annie was looking down at him with a slight frown. “Abed?”

“Troy’s in New York,” he said. She smiled, then frowned again.

“That’s good… right?” Abed took a steadying breath.

“Yes. I’m just…”

“Nervous?” Abed nodded. “Well, don’t be. It’s Troy. He’s still gonna be a big, lovable, goofball.” Abed stood up. Annie didn’t know all of the things on Abed’s mind, but her words still served to steady him. Troy shouldn’t make Abed nervous because Troy was Abed’s best friend and they can read each other’s minds and even if Troy had changed, he still hated spiders and loved blanket forts and they could work the rest out from there.

“We better get started on those banners.”

“You’re right! I’ll get the paint!”

A little while later, Abed was covered in paint and glitter and now there were two banners in their living room. One read: Welcome home, Troy! and the other read: Congratulations! Congratulations on what, exactly, Abed wasn’t sure. Congratulations on sailing around the world, maybe, or congratulations on being a multimillionaire now. “I’m going to get cleaned up.” Abed said, but he went into the bedroom instead of the bathroom and closed the door. He pulled out his phone, and with slightly trembling fingers, called Troy. He put the phone to his ear and heard it ring once, and then twice, before a familiar voice said:

“Abed?”

“Troy,” Abed responded, “You’re in New York City now?”

“Yeah, man, but not for long. I’ll be on a plane back to Colorado day after tomorrow. I can’t wait to see you.” There was a lump growing in Abed’s throat, and it’s getting kind of hard to breath.

“Troy, there’s something I have to tell you before I see you again because I’m afraid if I don’t tell you now, I might Britta our reunion.” There was a beat of silence on the other end before Troy said,

“Go on, buddy. I’m listening.”

“I love you, which is something I don’t really say to anyone, but I need you to know it. Also, when I say I love you, I mean, the male and female lead standing in the rain kind of I love you. The kind of I love you that makes me want to do things with you that I’ve never wanted to do with anyone before, at least not sincerely. I also want you to know, that it’s okay if you don’t standing in the rain love me back. I won’t even bring it up again if that’s how you feel, because being away from you has been pretty awful. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or like you shouldn’t come back because--”

“Abed.” Troy’s voice cut him off and Abed’s mouth snapped shut. “I love you, too. I was planning on telling you after I got back. I kind of was afraid I’d like, freak you out, you know. I didn’t even really, like, _get it,_ until Levar said I was totally in love with you and I was like, I totally am. So, yeah, don’t worry, dude.”

People have said that when momentous things happen to them, the world slowed down. For Abed, the world stayed same speed, but everything seemed to snap back into focus, like he had been living in a fog for a year. Which he guessed he kind of had. An awful Troy-less fog that was now parting to make way for a bright Troy-sun. Abed felt like he could finally breathe easy. “That’s good. Because I was thinking we could do an homage to the classic reunion scene where the guy and the girl kiss each other and twirl each other around and everyone claps. I don’t know if Jeff and Shirley will clap, but Britta and Annie definitely will.” Abed heard Troy chuckle.

“That would be pretty cool, man. Do I have to bring flowers because I’m not sure where I can find them at an airport.”

“Don’t worry, the flowers are my job. I guess Annie can film.” Abed and Troy spend a good half hour planning a perfect reunion scene until Troy said that maybe Abed shouldn’t bring flowers because flowers die and that made him sad and Abed said he doesn’t actually trust Annie with his camera and they decide that maybe they should just do the reunion their own way. Abed couldn’t really believe that it was so simple, and that it could have been that simple this whole time, but sometimes that’s how things worked in real life. It’s one of the few times Abed was glad he didn’t exist on television.

\----

Annie and Abed spend a day moving Troy’s stuff back into the bedroom and Abed’s stuff back into the newly re-made blanket fort. The plan was for Annie and Abed to pick up Troy at the airport and bring him back to the apartment, where Jeff, Britta, and Shirley (who flew back to Colorado for Troy’s return) would be waiting. However, in the end, Abed decided he should pick up Troy on his own, because he really wanted to be alone with Troy at first. Annie was a little hesitant agreeing to that. Abed got lost easily because he couldn’t tell left from right without singing the Pledge of Allegiance, and on top of that, he’s not the best driver. But, as Abed pointed out, he’s also not the worst, so eventually she agreed. Abed thought she probably knew about his being in love Troy, even though he didn’t tell her, because Annie just knew these things. In any case, he’s grateful that she’d been so patient with him. He was going to have to do something really nice for her after this was all over.

It took Abed an hour and a half to drive to the airport. As Abed drove, he tapped the steering wheel anxiously in time with his singing. Abed ended up only making a few wrong turns. He was sort of glad the airport was so far away, because it gave him plenty of time to calm his nerves. When Abed got to the airport, it took him a little while to find Troy’s gate. He kept getting disoriented by the large crowds of people. He hadn’t considered how many people would be there. Crowds made him nervous, but at least it kept his mind off of Troy and how poorly things might turn out. He waited with a small group of strangers, all of them also waiting for their friends and family. He killed time by making up backstories for each person. The man in the smart suit ended up being a lawyer trying to show his wife he’s not as emotionally closed off as she claimed by coming to the airport to greet her after her vacation alone in New York City (he hadn’t come with her because he had been too busy working). A woman staring down at her phone was waiting for her boyfriend, but unbeknownst to her, he planned on breaking up with her for paying more attention to her phone than him. His backstories probably said more about him than the people they were about. Eventually, people started coming out of the door. Abed wasn’t really a fidgety person, but he couldn’t help but shift from one foot to the other as people filed off the plane.

Troy and Abed spotted each other at the same time. Troy’s hair was a little bit longer than Abed remembered, and he had pretty serious stubble. That didn’t matter though. Abed’s heart felt like it was in his throat. “Abed!” Troy called at the same time Abed said: “Troy.” Abed took a few steps forward just as Troy barreled forward and crashed into him, pulling him into a rib cracking hug. Normally, Abed didn’t hug people back, but Abed would make an exception for this. He squeezed Troy back almost as hard as Troy was squeezing him. And then… and then Troy’s mouth was on Abed’s and it wasn’t like Abed imagined it would be. Abed had never been a romantic. He remembered kissing girls (and sometimes guys, Abed had never been too gender picky) and it was good, but also kind of gross and clumsy. This wasn’t like that. Kissing Troy made his stomach feel like it was melting, and it’s the best feeling in the world, even though it’s kind of wet because Troy was crying. “Dude.” Troy breathed into Abed’s ear after they stopped kissing. “This is pretty amazing.” Abed smiled, full and proper, because yeah, it _was_ pretty amazing.

\----

Troy and Abed head back to the apartment after that. Troy drove, Abed ate the complimentary plane peanuts Troy gave him and regaled Troy with tales from the current school year. When they get back, everyone hugged Troy so much he complained his sides would be bruised for a month. There were many cries of “Troy and Abed reuniiiiited!” replete with their special handshake. Everyone got a little bit drunk, with the exception of Jeff and Britta, who got a lot drunk. Someone called Frankie to get her to join the festivities. Troy laughed when she mentioned learning the steel drums because Jeff told her Troy’s talent at them was why everyone missed him. He told her that he didn’t know how to play anything but the kazoo. She seemed only slightly annoyed at Jeff upon learning this. The party went on late into the night. As more time passed, it became harder and harder for Troy and Abed to keep their hands off each other and they ended up kissing in front of everyone. As Abed predicted, Annie and Britta cheer, but Jeff and Shirley refrain. Though, Jeff clapped Troy and Abed on the back after they separate, and Shirley told them in a carefully delicate voice that she was happy they were happy. Frankie seemed to be the only one who’s surprised. The party only ended when Troy fell asleep using a slice of cake as a pillow. As Abed lay in his bed after everyone had gone to sleep, he personally felt it was the best party their group had ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End. Thanks for reading!


End file.
